


Bruised Knuckles and Slowly Healing

by Flying_Raven



Series: Eret and his Path to Redemption [6]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eret Needs A Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Eret-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, He/Him Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Manipulative Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Harm, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:35:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29844354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flying_Raven/pseuds/Flying_Raven
Summary: His knuckles were bleeding again. He hadn’t even punched a wall this time. Instead he had hit his throne over and over until he felt the skin break and bruise. But it was okay, it was just this once (or twice, or thrice…)Bad habits are hard to break, but with some time and help, maybe Eret can break one of his. Of course, it helps that the one who indirectly caused them is locked up.
Relationships: Eret & Niki | Nihachu
Series: Eret and his Path to Redemption [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2182158
Comments: 7
Kudos: 103





	Bruised Knuckles and Slowly Healing

**Author's Note:**

> All things writen in cursive are memories! Oof descriptions are hard.

_ A scream worked its way out of his throat. He punched his fist against the wall of the throne room. Dream had just left, after more than an hour of helping Eret. He felt guilty, Dream was trying so hard to help him and he kept fucking it up. He punched again. At least the pain made his head feel a little clearer.  _

_ *** _

_ His knuckles were bleeding again. He hadn’t even punched a wall this time. Instead he had hit his throne over and over until he felt the skin break and bruise. But it was okay, it was just this once (or twice, or thrice…)  _

_ *** _

_ But it didn’t stay just once or twice. Soon he needed to swap to using his left hand to write, and some days both of his hands were so bruised and broken he couldn’t do anything with them. On those days he’d try to sit alone and absentmindedly poke the broken skin. But it couldn’t be that bad right? At least he wasn’t cutting himself. And when Dream would finally leave him alone he’d be able to stop this stupid habit.  _

_ *** _

_ But then he was suddenly in Pogtopia, and the urge didn’t leave. He would catch himself tapping his hands forcefully  _ _ against the rough stone of the ravine. And if that wasn’t available he would find himself hitting his hands against his bones until the skin bruised. But it was okay, he was sure the others had their own ways of coping with the stress. _

But then Niki looked at him with such concern he almost broke down right then and there. 

“Are you okay Eret? What happened to your hand?” she asked. Frowning, he looked at his right hand. The knuckles were bruised again, and in a few places the skin was broken and still bleeding sluggishly. It was also shaking involuntarily, from the dull pain underneath the skin.    
“Must have hit it against the wall by accident. It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt that much.” he lied quickly. He didn’t quite know why he was lying. Maybe he didn’t want to break Niki’s heart. As much as he tried to lie to himself and say that this was normal, he knew it wasn’t. Niki’s frown deepened, and it almost felt like she was looking straight through him.

“Eret, this isn’t the first time i’ve seen your hands like this. And I know you’re not that clumsy.” she paused for a second before continuing. “You know you can talk to me right? If you need someone, I’m here.” she said. Eret nodded. He didn’t plan on telling her, but he appreciated the gesture. Even if it felt like she was just saying it out of obligation. 

He thought he was getting better at keeping it hidden. At least, he wanted to believed that. That was until he and Tommy got into a fight and he stormed off back to his small house in the ravine. His brain felt like it was running more than a thousand miles an hour. Hot tears were running down his face. As if on instinct, he turned to the wall and smashed his hand against it. And again. And again. And- someone grabbed his hand and pulled it away from the wall. He spun around, only to be met with Niki’s eyes. He flinched back, pulling his hand loose and clutching it to his chest. 

“Why?” Niki asked softly. He couldn’t look her in the eyes. How was he supposed to answer the question?

“It’s okay. It’ll heal.” he said lamely. Niki shook her head. 

“Your hand-” she swallowed thickly. “It could be broken. You were hitting it hard.” 

Eret shrugged. 

“It’ll heal.” he said again. 

“Why do you do this? Judging by the way you other hand looks this is definitely not the first time you’ve done this.” Niki asked. Eret looked at his other hand, it was definitely still healing. 

“It’s… It’s a habit. It’s either that or screaming at someone. Don’t like the consequences of that.” he answered. Niki’s frown deepened.

“The consequences of what? Screaming at someone because they kept provoking you?” 

Eret stayed silent. He didn’t mean to say what he said, it had just slipped out. 

Niki placed her hand on Eret’s back and gently guided him to the couch. It wasn’t a very good one, but it worked. 

“Eret? Who would hurt you if you got angry at them?” she asked. Eret shook his head. 

_ “Nobody will believe you! Seriously Eret, who would listen to a traitor. ‘Oh boo hoo, the person who helped get me the power I so craved doesn’t have the patience of a saint whenever I fuck up, my life is so hard!’ stop whining. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. I’m just doing this to help you.”  _

“It’s not important. I’m making a big deal out of nothing. I’m sorry.” he said. Niki sighed deeply.

“Please let me at least take you to Tubbo. Your hand looks really bad.” she said. Eret nodded. What else could he do? He knew he was hurting Niki, but he didn’t want to burden her. “Just… talk to me next time, okay? You don’t have to do this. It’s not healthy.” she continued. Eret sighed softly before getting up.

“I know Niki, I know.” 

*

Months later, Eret found himself outside of Niki’s house late at night. It was a few weeks after Dream had been locked up, and Eret had just finished visiting the man for the first time. 

_ “Do you still fuck up your hands when you get sad Eret?” the question from Dream made him jerk his head back at him. _

_ “How do you know about that?!” Eret snapped, protectively clutching his (not bruised, he’d been getting better at not doing that) hand against his chest. Dream huffed out a breath. _

_ “You think I’m stupid? Everyone could see it. The great king, too weak to cope with his own emotions without resorting to hurting himself. How pathetic. I was right. You’ll never be anything without me.” Dream laughed. Without any more words, Eret flipped off the green man and walked back out of the cell. If he had any plans to visit again, he sure didn’t now.  _

Now his hands were shaking with the urge to hurt again. It hadn’t been this bad in weeks. He quickly knocked on Niki’s door, pushing his hands into his pockets after. The door swung open, revealing a slightly sleepy Niki. 

“Hi Niki, can I come in? I’m-” he swallowed with difficulty, feeling his throat tighten. “-not in the best place.” he finished. Niki nodded immediately. She could clearly see that something was wrong with him. 

“Always Eret! Sit down, please. Do you want something to drink?” she asked. Eret nodded. Anything to occupy his hands was good at this point. “Tea?” Niki suggested, seeing the lost look in his eyes. Eret nodded again. 

A few minutes later he was holding a warm cup of tea when Niki sat down next to him.

“Are you okay?” she asked. Eret took a deep breath. Was he going to tell her? The things Dream had told him kept echoing in his head. He kept feeling like the man was right. But at the same time… Dream had been a manipulative asshole to Tommy, what would stop him from hurting Eret as well? He shook his head. 

“I… I visited Dream today.” he said. “He said some things, made some urges return. And you said I could… uh, like come to you when I wanted to do that again.” he finished. Niki frowned.

“That?” she asked. Eret paused, and then mimed hitting his hand against something. Niki nodded. 

“Do want to talk about it?” she gently asked. Eret paused again. Did he? 

“Uh… Dream was the reason I started doing that whole thing if I’m being perfectly honest. He’d try to help me when I was king the first time? Or maybe he wasn’t helping? I’m not sure anymore. But if I got out of line… he’d punish me. I started hurting my hand as a way to take away the frustration.” he sighed. “I’m fucking pathetic.” he muttered, setting his tea down and dropping his head into his hands. Niki shook her head, placing a hand on his back.

“I don’t think you are pathetic. I think you are someone who’s hurting a lot and has only known unhealthy ways to cope until recently. Dream didn’t have good intentions. To be blunt Eret, he fucked you up, and you didn’t deserve that.” she said. Eret closed his eyes, fighting against the pinprick of tears behind his eyes. 

“It’s quite hard to believe that when I was told I deserved the punishment every day for over two months.” he responded. Niki pulled him closer. 

“I understand. But you’re doing great. I’m proud of you for telling me. That’s very hard to do.” she said. Something warm sparked inside Eret’s chest. Someone was proud of him. He hadn’t heard those words in way too long. He smiled a little. 

“Thank you.” he said sincerely. Niki nodded again. 

“I mean it.” she paused for a second. “Do you want me to distract you for a bit?” she asked. Eret nodded. “Okay! I’ve been working on some new recipes. It might be late at night but it’s never too late for baking. Want to help me? It could keep your hands occupied.” Eret smiled wider.

“I think that’s a great idea Niki.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this fic! When I wrote Bonds Forged in Snow I wrote the memory of Eret hurting his hand for the first time and I wanted to elaborate on that part of him. Comments are pog!


End file.
